Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Update



I'm just going to be honest - I'm struggling to know what to say here. Anyone who reads my blog regularly will know I like to write posts which are generally positive and practical. However, it's also so important, probably above anything else, that the things I write are honest, direct from the heart and really reflect myself and my situation at the time. It's because of this that I'm having a bit of hard time thinking what to write. Positive is not coming too naturally at the moment, so it leaves me in a predicament. In a way I feel as though I either need to sacrifice positivity for honesty, or vice versa.

Just under a month ago, my Dad passed away following a 4 year battle with cancer. In general, I think I'm coping pretty well, I think the whole family are; keeping busy but being careful not to shut out the grief when it wants to be felt. 

Writing is my passion; I love everything about it. I love spilling out all of my thoughts onto a page and then sorting through them. I love making sense of the muddled up sentences I originally draft - organising them into something that is both readable and hopefully, interesting. It's surprising what editing a piece of writing can do for me; it's so much more than moulding it into a quality post. Seeing my thoughts, edited and neatly formed into a concise page of writing really helps me to process them.

It has taken me days to write just this small post, but doing so has made me realise that, although positive may be harder at the moment, I am still capable of blogging. Practical, I can do; I've learnt more life lessons in the past few months than in the rest of my life put together. Honest, I can definitely do, in fact I struggle to be anything but. And you know, in those two things, surely there is some positive too. Although it may be a little harder right now, I'm so ready to get writing again.


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2 comments

  1. Elise when my Nanna, your Great Gran died I was 15 and cried for a week. When Dad died I had 2 young children and had to sort everything and everyone out. It hit me 3 months later, after l knew Mam was okay and I could stand down, if you like. I have seen a lot of families over the last 26 years deal with grief , everyone does it differently, but they all cope with it. Some cry a lot. Some keep busy. Some feel blessed. Some laugh. Some feel guilt. Some can't allow the grief because there's too much to do. Most feel love. But how ever anyone feels life goes on. And for you it will help your writing as your life experience has grown and without knowing it you'll be using it in the things you do, or the words you write. I wonder if writing runs in the family, Emily's teacher would tell me he had to get her to write less lol take care xx

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  2. I've just looked at this for the first time since I wrote it, I'm sorry I didn't reply earlier; I didn't realise there was a comment! Thanks so much for that, made me tear up a bit but in a good way. I think you're right, there's no point in analysing the way you cope with something, as long as you are dealing with things in a healthy way. The brain has its own plans regardless of what grief is portrayed as in the media etc, and that's ok. Thank you again xx

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