Why you shoudn't be afraid to be a 'basic bitch' this Halloween

I swear society is becoming a game in which nobody can win; there always seems to be a reason to drag a person down. This is especially true for women. If you dress conservatively, you're a prude, but if you show 'too much' skin you're a slut, for example. One thing that really confuses me, though, is a fear of judgement that seems to have arisen only in the past couple of years - the fear of being basic.

Basic. What does that even mean, and how can a person ever be basic? Basic is a word you use to describe something simple yet functional, like a Sainsbury's basics bag of potatoes. Not a human being, complete with a lifetime of memories, a totally unique personality and a complex spectrum of emotions. No matter what a person likes or dislikes, how can that ever be basic?

The concept of being basic revolves around a person liking or doing things that other people also like or do. But what about the revolutionary idea that the reason a lot of people like something is because, I don't know, it's good? Furthermore, why is it assumed that someone is either basic or they're not? I know personally, I like some things that would be considered basic, and I like some things that wouldn't. Music is a prime example of this divide; why does it have to be that somebody either likes pop music or they like indie music. And God forbid anyone who primarily likes pop music states that they love an indie tune - what a try hard! On the flipside, I know more than a few people who mainly listen to indie music who wait until they're drunk at 3am to shamefully whisper 'I actually kinda like Taylor Swift', as though they're admitting to cheating on their boyfriend. Why does society make people feel like this? Why can't all of us wonderful, one of a kind people just like whatever the hell we want, without being judged? Surely this is way more interesting than feeling the need to fit a certain 'category', constantly fearing the judgement and scrutiny that comes if you dare avert from what you traditionally enjoy.

How about everybody just listens to, and wears and enjoys whatever they damn want - you owe nobody an explanation. I am a basic bitch through and through, and I'll never be afraid to admit it. I'm proud of everyone who likes whatever the hell they want just because they like it. Don't ever feel constricted by all the weird boundaries that society cages us in. So to all my sexy cats, bunnies and schoolgirls out there this Halloween, I salute you. Get out there and don't be afraid to flaunt all of your wonderful basicness. I certainly will be!

How to make going to the gym a habit

Seen as this month marks a year since I joined the gym, I thought this would be a fitting post. The fact that it's been a whole year (YEAR!!) really has got me thinking about what was different this time round. I'd tried getting into exercise countless times before, but never stuck it out. It's so easy to get caught in the trap of having all this motivation, spending months planning how you're going to join the gym. Next thing you know you've done 1 or 2 sessions, realised you don't have abs yet and are beginning to feel that motivation fade. I've been there more times than I count! In this year, however, I've picked up a few little tricks on how to keep that drive to succeed fresh. Here are a few of those sneaky little lessons - I really hope they can be of help to someone out there!

1. Get a membership

Twice I have fallen into the "I won't get a membership to start with" trap. Yes, in theory, not committing to paying a lump sum before you're sure you'll use it makes perfect sense. It does, however, make you less likely to stick at it. Firstly, if you know that every time you go to the gym, you have to physically rake 5 or 6 pounds out your pocket, the idea suddenly becomes less appealing (as if it wasn't hard enough already). Even though with a membership you're still technically paying, it's easier than literally forking out cash every time you visit the gym. Secondly, paying on the door can make you feel like you have to spend ages there in order to get your 'money's worth'. If you have a membership, you can say to yourself "OK, I'll just go for half an hour" and not feel bad for it, whereas if you're using pay as you go, you're way more likely to just bail altogether.

2. Start slowly

There's no need to go in and do Tammy Hembrow style workouts immediately! In the beginning, making the gym part of your routine is hard, and there's no shame whatsoever in easing yourself into it. When I started out, the first few weeks were all about motivating myself to actually turn up, trying out different things and finding out what I enjoyed. Don't beat yourself up for allowing time to just give things a go before going for the challenging, structured workouts.

3. Know there's no need to feel intimidated

When I first joined the gym, I was terrified; the thought of exercising in front of others filled me with what can only be described as pure dread. I was scared that people would look at me and judge me for only being able to lift the small weights, and I wouldn't try any new machines in case I made a fool of myself. It's OK to feel like this at the start; stepping out of your comfort zone isn't easy, but you'll soon begin to realise that nobody actually cares what you're doing, just as you don't care what they're doing. Everyone is there for their own reasons, and nobody is going to care or judge you if you mess something up. In my year at the gym, I've seen people helping each other out countless times - it's no big deal and there certainly isn't any judgement involved. This girl who a year ago was scared to even move in the gym is now the one you'll see smashing out sumo squats in the middle of the floor (not such a dignified sight, but who even cares? No-one!)

4. Focus on how you feel

It's easy to get caught up in the physical results, but I really do think this often does more harm than good. Physical results are slow, but the mental benefits can be felt almost immediately. Focusing on how going to the gym makes you feel, and realising the power of these benefits is so much more motivational than getting hung up on physical qualities. Treating the gym as somewhere to go to make you feel great is truly the best way forward, and any physical changes are just a pleasant side effect.

5. Don't sweat the details

Hands up who has ever missed a day or week at the gym and given up there and then, taking it as a sign of failure? I've certainly done this many a time. The truth is, though, that missing a week at the gym doesn't matter, it's how you decide to interpret it that does. Sticking to a strict routine isn't what will make you succeed in getting fit, it's the resilience to keep going even if things don't always go to plan. Yes, I occasionally miss a week in the gym - life happens. Sometimes you're just too busy, or you simply feel demotivated or under the weather. It doesn't matter! What matters is picking yourself up and going again. I have skipped plenty of workouts, yet their effect on my fitness is negligible. If, however, I'd used this as an excuse to give up completely, I'd be right back to square one. Alternatively, if some days you don't feel like going but want to try, just go for half an hour or so - what matters is that you went and you did something. We all have bad days, and teaching yourself that it's actually fine is incredibly liberating.

6. Find your niche

I HATE cardio. Always have done, always will do. At school, I hated PE. I was also shit at PE. This led me to believe that I hated exercise, which was far from the truth. Had I not sheepishly ventured into that weights section, there's no way I would have stuck at the gym. I just can't deal with the burning throat, the feeling sick before I'm even tired, and the dreaded jiggling that comes with cardio. It makes me feel unfit and downright crappy. Lifting weights and using resistance machines, however, makes me feel powerful - like I can conquer the world. Yes, it's hard work, but it's a different kind of hard work than cardio; a kind I really enjoy. Consequently, my routines contain minimal cardio, for no other reason than because I don't like it. It's all about finding something that makes you feel empowered and strong, rather than just sticking to what you know and hate.

7. Plan ahead

Having a super-strict routine doesn't work for everyone. What I like to do is plan when I'm getting my workouts in week by week, rather than having a set day for each thing without fail. I tend to get my diary out on a Sunday and figure out what I've got planned during the week, before deciding when to fit the gym in. This way, you can set time aside for the gym on the days which you don't have much planned for. Pre-planning is one of the best ways to ensure you don't miss a workout due to being too busy.

SAD: The mental illness nobody talks about

It's estimated that 1 in 15 people in the UK suffer from it[1], but how often do we hear about Seasonal Affective Disorder, also know as SAD? Until I was diagnosed with it myself, I admittedly knew very little about the illness. I'd spent a lot of my life thinking I just had to live with becoming a completely different person in Winter. Sure, I'd heard about the 'winter blues' but it never seemed to be portrayed as a serious issue. Finding out I had SAD was actually a huge relief; I think it's comforting being able to put a name to something that's kind of hard to put into words. I guess it's nice to know that what your experiencing isn't completely abnormal, and is totally valid and real. After many years of navigating this disorder, I've learnt a lot; from the facts and science behind it, to the best ways of managing it. I thought it would be nice to share some of my personal coping mechanisms. I think a lot of people probably suffer from the 'Winter Blues' on some level, so perhaps some of these strategies could be of help.

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a form of depression which usually occurs between the months of September and April (although this varies from person to person), and is caused by the shorter daylight hours in Winter. Simply put, SAD is caused primarily by the brain producing too much Melatonin - a chemical which is produced in the dark, making us feel tired and ready to sleep. In theory, it's very useful, but too much can be problematic and lead to symptoms such as low mood, tiredness, difficulty concentrating, lowered immune system and sleeping problems. It can also cause a sudden lift in mood and bursts of hypo-mania (over-activity) in Spring[2]. Seen as it's around the time of year when SAD tends to set in, I reckon it's a perfect time to share a few little tricks that could help alleviate these symptoms.

1. Get outdoors

As I mentioned earlier, SAD is basically caused by the lack of daylight in the Winter months. Getting outside for a walk or something similar can help in two ways. Firstly, outside light from the sun is way more powerful than indoor lights, even on a murky day. Secondly, if going outside involves some exercise as well, endorphin levels will increase, boosting the feel good factor even more.

2. SAD lamp

Although getting outdoors more often should be beneficial, it may not always be enough. If this is the case, light therapy may be an option. Medically certified light therapy lamps produce artificial sunlight, and when used for 30 minutes early in the morning and 30 minutes at night (or whatever your GP advises) they can make a real difference. They essentially fool the brain into thinking the days are longer. It's about this time of year I start using my lamp, and in previous years I've found it really effective in reducing symptoms.

3. Schedule some me time

It's so important to set time aside every day to look after yourself, or to do something you enjoy. It could be as simple as having a long bath or reading a chapter of a book - anything that nurtures your soul. Looking after yourself is not selfish, it's a necessity.

4. Get moving

I can't stress enough the power of exercise when it comes to mental health care. I'm certainly not trying to suggest that exercise alone can 'cure' a mental illness, but I know from experience it can be a really useful tool. As I mentioned earlier, exercise increases endorphin levels, subsequently improving your mood - and the good news is you don't need tons of exercise to feel the benefits. If working out isn't really your thing, something as simple as a few short walks per week could well be enough to feel some improvements.

5. Take care of the little things

This might seem like a strange one, but I honestly find that the little things really add up and end up having such an impact on my state of mind. Especially if you're not feeling so good, small things like keeping your room tidy, looking after your skin or wearing an outfit you feel good in can make such a difference.

6. Make time for sleep

We've all heard it a million times, but there's so many reasons why. Sleep is great for pretty much every aspect of health, and mental health is no exception. Having battled with insomnia for a few years, I know this all too well and now value sleep enormously. A good snooze every night allows the body to repair itself, and the mind to process information (dreams are more productive than you may think!). Exactly how much sleep we need varies from person to person, but once you start paying more attention to your sleep routine, your body will soon tell you the answer to that.

7. Be gentle with yourself

If you do find things harder during the winter months, one of the best things you can do is to be gentle with yourself. Remember that it's not your fault you feel this way, make yourself a plan of action and simply do you best. This is all you can ever do and all anyone else can ask of you. Remember to put yourself first and prioritise your own needs, especially when things are tough.

8. Visit the GP

Lastly, but most importantly, if you suspect something may be wrong, go to your GP for advice. The tips I'm giving here are purely things I've learnt through my own experiences, and certainly won't apply to everyone. I'm not a professional, just someone sharing her own ideas and hoping they might be of help to someone else. Reaching out to someone qualified to provide the right sort of help is the best thing you can do. If going to a GP is too daunting to begin with, maybe start by speaking to a friend or family member, or contacting one of the helplines listed on the Mental Health helplines NHS page.


[1] Mental Health Foundation. (2017). Seasonal affective disorder (SAD). [online] Available at: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/s/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad [Accessed 9 Mar. 2017].

[2] The Seasonal Affective Disorder Assosciation. 2016. Symptoms. [ONLINE] Available at: http://www.sada.org.uk/symptoms_2.php. [Accessed 9 March 2017].