National Stress Awareness Day - My top 5 stress-busting techniques

Today's post is a day early, but seen as it's national stress awareness day, I thought this would be fitting. Each and every one of us is affected by stress from time to time; some more than others, yes, but we all know the feeling. As we mature and get to know ourselves better, we become more in tune to both our personal triggers, and to which coping mechanisms work best for us. This week, I thought it would be nice to really think about what works for me, and pass on some of my own stress-busting ideas. So without further ado, here are my top 5 coping mechanisms for when life seems a bit too overwhelming.

1. Lists

For me, lists are a complete life-saver. Admittedly I'm a bit of an organisation freak, but there's something about having a good to-do list that really calms me down. When I have all these tasks swirling around in my head, I find I'm using half of my energy just thinking about what I need to do, leaving no headspace to deal with actually doing them. By writing everything down instead of using your brain as your notepad, it's surprising how much more manageable it all seems. Once you have a list, it's as simple as working through it one by one, without simultaneously thinking about what you have to do next. Mono-tasking is the way forward people!

2. Ten minute rule

I used to be a person who was regularly late for events, despite lateness being something I really hate. I just couldn't understand why I would always set off 'on time' yet still not manage to actually be on time. Nowadays I always apply my 'ten minute rule' if possible; always think about how long it will take you to get somewhere, and aim to set off ten minutes earlier. This 10 minute buffer allows time for the 'little things' we don't think about, but that end up eating our time, for example locking the door, getting the car off the drive or putting our shoes on. For me, there's nothing more stressful than being unpunctual, hence why I find this technique so helpful.

3. De-clutter

Recently I read Marie Kondo's famous book 'The life changing magic of tidying' and it has, as promised, changed my life. Living in a family home, it's unrealistic for me to totally de-clutter the entire house, but clearing out my room has had such a positive effect on my stress levels. It's so lovely to have my own space which I enjoy spending time in. Even silly little things like folding my clothes differently so they're easier to see has a calming effect; seemingly insignificant daily tasks like getting dressed become so much easier. I'm really all about the little things; we tend to dismiss them, believing they're not big enough to have an effect on our stress levels but when they're all added up, they often have more of an impact than anything else. On a side note, I would highly recommend Marie Kondo's book, it's a really enjoyable read, especially for my fellow organisation geeks out there.

4. Get the right amount of sleep for you

I will never stop preaching the power of sleep, as it literally affects every aspect of our lives and health. Notice I haven't tried to specify an ideal number of hours; this is because it varies hugely from person to person. Some people need very little sleep in order to function properly, whereas others need a lot more. What's right for you is something you need to figure out yourself; both too little and too much sleep can have a negative effect on the mind and body, subsequently increasing stress levels. Personally, my ideal is 8-10 hours per night, which might seem quite a lot. I find that if I have less than 8 hours, I struggle to get out of bed and tend to need a nap in the afternoon. On the flipside if I sleep for too long, I feel groggy, headachy and lack energy throughout the day. Finding the right amount of sleep for you and sticking to that whenever possible is a really useful stress-busting tool.

5. Deal with things now

This is something I didn't learn until quite recently. When we're feeling stressed or under pressure, the easiest thing to do is sweep things under the carpet and bury our heads in the sand. The only problem is, the things we need to deal with then only become more urgent, whilst additional tasks come up in the meantime. As those deadlines become nearer and the unread emails pile up, it only makes us more stressed, which can lead to a vicious cycle. Put an end to that cycle today; make an action plan and actually do it, sort through your emails and from now on as soon as something needs doing, do it immediately. Your head will feel much clearer for it.

Stress management truly is so important for our productivity, but more importantly for our physical and mental health. I really hope these ideas can be of some use - they certainly have been for me. Furthermore, if anyone has any of their own stress-busting techniques, I'd love to hear them; I'm always open to new ideas, so the more the better!

My ultimate stress-free revision timetable strategy

In hindsight, this post may have been better done a bit earlier, as by this point we're almost into the full swing of exams. However, if you haven't yet created yourself a revision timetable, it most definitely isn't too late to do so!

Having sat more exams than I can count over the years, I'm no stranger to the dreaded annual exam-related stress out. However, I've always known that - for me at least - organisation is often the most effective antidote to stress. There's nothing more calming than knowing that everything I need to do is down on paper. It means I can focus solely and today and right now, rather than what I need to do tomorrow or what I should* have done yesterday. I think for many people, the main source of exam stress isn't the exam itself, it's more the anxiety over whether we are revising enough. I'm sure at some point we've all been out doing something we usually enjoy, yet all we can think is "I should be revising right now". Of course, 24/7 revision is certainly not the answer, yet the guilt and pressure still remains.

As a self-confessed perfectionist, I've spent years trying to master the art of making a perfect revision timetable, and I dare say I think I've got pretty good at it. My main aim was always to rid myself of having to worry about any day other than the one I am living right now. Achieving this mind-set is so beneficial, and seems to free up a ton of space in your head for the stuff which is actually important! I'll warn you now, my method is a bit time-consuming, but its preciseness is exactly what makes it so effective. So without further ado, here is my step by step guide on creating a stress-relieving revision timetable:

1) For each subject, list every topic you need to revise on some scrap paper.

2) Split each of these broad topics up into very small chunks. You're aiming to end up with lots of different snippets to revise which would each take roughly 30mins. So for example, I am studying Biology, and one of the topics is synapses. I would split this into say, problems with synapses, action potentials and effects of drugs on synapses. Suddenly, instead of being faced with one big and overwhelming topic to revise, I have 3 quick, manageable ones. For any topic which you have no option but to spend more than 30mins on, such as an exam paper, just tally 3 next to it to show that it takes up three slots of 30mins rather than just one.

3) Make your timetable showing every day until the end of your exams. I like to do this on the computer, but it can be handmade if you prefer.

4) Write your exams into your timetable.

5) Block off in one colour every day you have something planned and know you will be unable to revise. It doesn't matter what it is; I block off entire weekends because I work on Saturdays and am normally hungover on Sundays. Being honest with yourself is the best way, and you don't have to revise every day.

6) Count up the number of days you have free.

7) Divide the number of small topics (30min slots) you have by the number of days you have established as free. Round up to the nearest whole number. This is how many of your small topics it would be useful to revise each day. For example if you have 97 topics and 30 days, that's 3.23, so round up to 4 per day.

8) Spread your small topics throughout your timetable. With the example I've just used (4 topics per day), you may choose to put two small 30 minute topics down for one day, as well as a one hour exam paper (which takes up the other two 30-minute slots).

9) Stick your timetable up and get started! You will by this point be so organised that there's no reason to worry about when you're going to fit anything in, because you have it all covered. Just get up every day and focus on what you have down for today, and nothing more.

10) Highlight or tick things off when they're done to give you a sense of achievement. If something comes up which means you don't finish everything one day, either just move on or fit it in somewhere else - it's no big deal! Life happens.

Good luck with you exams everyone!

*Click here to read my post dedicated to the use of the word 'should'.

Erase this word from your vocabulary and change your life forever

Let's just think about it for a second; language is simply a string of sounds. A string of sounds that has the power to make us feel a spectrum of emotions. One string of sounds can make us feel content, loved or powerful. Another could leave us anxious, devastated or furious. I think we often underestimate the way that language influences literally everything we do. The words we use have way more power over us than we probably imagine; even the ones we use in normal, everyday situations. In particular, the words we use about ourselves, both in our heads and out loud, can completely change our view of life.

A few years ago, whilst sat in Leeds Grand Theatre with my friend and brother, I heard Derren Brown talk about 'the stories we tell ourselves' for the first time. From the moment I heard that opening speech from his show 'Infamous', I was fascinated by the concept. The concept that really, all we can control is how we piece together the information we receive. We can make this information into a good story or a bad one - the content really has little relevance. Around the same time, I found myself having a conversation which changed my life. I think we can all think of certain moments which, despite not being particularly out of the ordinary or remarkable, have a profound effect on us. In the months leading up to my GCSEs I was, as many of us were, incredibly stressed. It felt as though I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. One lunchtime I was having a conversation with my RS, and future Psychology teacher. As one of those people who always seems to know what to say, she was often the first person I'd go to when I needed some guidance. On this occasion, she said 6 words which altered my perspective forever. These words were "get rid of the word should".

Should. I'd never thought of it before, but what an awful word. If you really step back and think about the word 'should', what sort of feelings does it evoke? Guilt? Anxiety? Self-depreciation? It rarely conjures up any positive images. Although being intrigued by the suggestion, I will admit I was initially sceptical. Firstly, how could the erasing of a single word realistically change the way you think as a whole and secondly, is it actually possible to do? After all, most of the words that we say even to others, but especially to ourselves are almost automatic - we have no real awareness of doing it.

Despite my doubts, since that short conversation I have always tried to be mindful of that toxic word 'should', and after 4 years, I think I've cracked it. Of course, sometimes I slip up, but in general my use of the word is a thing of the past. This small change has had such a profound effect on my overall mental health. Since ditching the word, I rarely feel guilt when I don't manage to do something I would have liked to. Previously, that 'should' would've plagued me; spinning around my head with its negative, confidence-bashing connotations. You may be reading this thinking 'well maybe feeling no guilt isn't entirely a good thing'. After all, surely it could lead to a person being lazy and/or unreliable; by giving them permission to not do the things they really, well, *should* be doing.

On the contrary, I think it has the opposite effect. You see, by taking away the notion that you should be doing this or should be doing that, you find a great weight lifted off your shoulders. This is the weight of expectation, and it is, quite frankly, something we could all do without. The anxiety you feel when telling yourself you should be doing something is completely counter-productive. Feeling anxiety and stress in large amounts is only going to hinder you. After all, obsessing over how you should be doing something, doesn't get it any closer to actually being done. In fact, it'll likely make you dread it more, and thus also make you more likely to put it off further.

So, it's easy to talk about this hypothetically, but how do you actually put it into practice? Honestly, it takes some time and effort, and requires you to regularly analyse the things you're saying to yourself and others. My challenge to you would be to slowly start replacing the word 'should' with more positive phrases. For example, instead of saying "I really should finish that Maths paper today" you could say "I would really like it if I finished that Maths paper today". By doing this, you're replacing a sentence which focuses on the negatives you would feel if you don't get it done, with one that focuses on how good you will feel if you do. This in turn makes you more likely to want to do it, and also less likely to beat yourself up if you don't, which is a win-win situation.

Yes, this method may sound a bit cringey in practice, but it honestly is a life-changer. I say this as someone who gained very little from CBT, a form of therapy which focuses heavily on noticing, evaluating and consciously changing thought processes until they become more constructive. To be totally honest, I found it a bit patronising. I'm in no way saying that CBT is a bad thing; I know it's very effective for an lot of people. Simply put, I think I'm just too stubborn to get much out of it. However, as a result of ridding myself of the word 'should', I definitely see and understand the merit of 'rewiring' thinking patterns. Until you really start to consciously consider the 'stories you tell yourself', you don't realise the power you could gain by changing them.